Separation Doesn't Have to Mean Divorce! What to Do If You Want Your Wife Back

Divorce is never an easy thing to face, and that is especially true if you aren't the one who made the decision. If you feel like you haven't done everything you could do to save your marriage, it can be hard to think that you will end up getting divorced whether you want to or not. After all, it hardly seems fair that your wife can say she wants a separation or divorce and you are basically forced to give her one by the courts. If your wife said she wants a separation, does that mean you have to get divorced? Not necessarily! If you can change your wife's mind, you can definitely get your wife back!

So how do you go about changing your wife's mind about the divorce? You can start by giving her space. Yes, it is definitely not what you want to do at this time, especially if you want to get back together. Many times, if you want to end the separation, you can have a one-track mind. You get so caught up in getting what you want, that you can't really see the forest for the trees, so to speak. Then you end up trying to force a reconciliation, which usually backfires in the end. This is why many people end up getting divorced even when they don't want to. They made the wrong move during the separation and actually forced their wife further away.

Giving your wife space will give her a chance to see what a divorce will really be like. That's what a separation is for -- it's a time apart to make sure that you really want to go through with the divorce. If you start by giving your wife total space during this time, then she will get an accurate picture of what her life will be like. And she might not even like it! If you give her time, she might start to miss you. She'll think about the good times you had together and not just the bad. But if you keep pushing the issue, trying to convince her to come back, she won't get the space she needs.

In fact, if you don't give her space right now, it will make her feel like you aren't listening. She will feel like she isn't in control over the situation anymore (and a lot of times separations are about who is in control). And if she doesn't feel like she is being heard, she will force you to listen by forcing you to get a divorce, which is obviously what you don't want. Giving your wife space right now will cause a more even balance of power to occur. You will look strong to her. You will be more desirable, because you will be in control over your own emotions and your own actions, and not just a puppet reacting to her every move.

While you are giving your wife space, you can also consider writing her a short apology letter. Again, don't beg and plead with her to come back. If you don't want your separation to end in divorce, then just write her a short letter telling her that you love her. Tell her that you agree with her about the separation, because you need time to think too. Tell her that you are willing to talk about your situation if she wants, but that you understand that she needs this time to herself right now. Then let it go. Don't call her to talk about the letter. Just let her read it and think about it. This is one of the most powerful tools you can use to pull your wife back to you.