Roommates Relationship: Contracts and Agreements
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Resolved Question: Re: people who cheat with married or otherwise attached people, why do they so often say they're not at fault?
Why don't they take responsibility for THEIR actions too? No, they aren't responsible for the husband or wife that strayed. They are only responsible for themselves...It's like if someone loses their wallet, with ID, money, credit cards, etc. Someone finds it and says "Finders keepers!" Um, no... Sure, maybe the person was careless enough to lose their wallet, misplace it, etc. But you know it's NOT yours. So it's wrong to keep it.
Of course, wallets don't have free will or loyalty. People do...and that includes people who knowingly accept someone else's seconds.
Why do people who cheat with married or otherwise attached people so often say they're *not* at fault?
No, you (the OW or OM) might not have taken the marriage vows. But do you really have to take vows just to have common courtesy?!
Nik, you sound like a prick.
Nik, Blame "belongs" with you when YOU willingly engage in behavior that hurts others.
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The first thing you can do, once you know you will be getting a roommate, is to avoid assuming that you will automatically be best friends. By remembering this, you will avoid getting your feelings hurt, when the two of you don’t immediately get along as well as you had anticipated. Even though you and your roommate aren’t fast friends, your living arrangement can still work out for the best. By working together around the room or apartment, you can get to know one another better. You can also do things outside the apartment together.
Something that could be extremely beneficial to roommates in keeping the peace is to make a roommate contract or agreement. This comes in handy when you and your roommate just can’t get along for one reason or another and moving out is not an option. A roommate agreement is a contract that you and your roommate work out amongst yourselves and agree to follow. This contract can range from specifying who does what chores, to specifying quiet times for study and rest. By filling out a roommate agreement, you’ll be able to live together amicably for the duration of your time together.
If you are extremely lucky and you and your roommate get along exceedingly well, you don’t need to spend every waking minute together. By spending all your free time with one another, you could endanger the closeness you share. If you get bored with each other because you spend so much time together, you still have to go home together and it can be difficult to avoid one another if you share a small apartment or a room.
By not getting your hopes up about your future roommate, you can avoid any heartache when things don’t go as you had planned. And by being realistic you can avoid any hardships when you and your roommate just can’t get along. And steps that you can take in helping to get along with your roommate will be well worth it. And after a few months, you and your roommate may move from being “just roommates” to being friends. Just because you aren’t fast friends from the day you move in together, doesn’t mean that a future friendship is impossible.
About the Author
Zack Fair currently writes for Rental Markets Inc. The company manages a Roommate Finder community website Getaroomie.com that serves as a roommate search engine as well as a community for people finding a room or roommates.
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