Fun style and amazing function Laminated diaper bag

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Resolved Question: What do you think of my essay?
When I am an adult ( I'll never grow up so I shall say when I'm an adult) I intend to be a happily married lesbian housewife (or wife of David Bowie) who not only writes novels, performs in community theater shows, teaches Queer literature and Queer history classes, studies genetics in her free time and eventual president. However because you wish to stifle my creativity I must choose one, and I choose to write about being a Queer lit/history teacher and Mom. Here is a day in that life: "MOM!! WAKE UP YOU STUPID COW!!" My eight year old daughter Hermia screams in my ear. "Yell in my ear and call me a cow again and I swear on all that is f ucking holy I will take that class on the theories of Sigmund Freud." "Is Sigmund Freud that dude who thinks every woman wants to sleep with her father?" "Yup." Hermia scrunched up in fear "I be good!!" she squeeled. "Get out of here squirt" I said messing up her hair and grinning "I gotta get dressed." I stood up and streched and walked over to my wardrobe. I pulled out a light pink puffy blouse and a skirt reaching up to the top shelf and getting my rhinestone headband. I jumped into the shower got washed, got out toweled off , got dressed and went downstairs. My beautiful wife was bottle feeding our son, Lysander and Hermia was putting way too much maple syrup on her pancakes. "Do you want to take over or - " my darling asked "I'm going to take him to work today, so since I'll have to suffer from sore breasts all day you can finish." "Can you take Hermia to school today? I'd do it but the bookstore is short staffed today." "Sure. " I glanced at my watch "Oh damn, we're going to have to hurry, Hermia, take the plate with you, I'm going to be late for my first fricken class" I walked over to my wife and took Ly in my arms and gave my wife a kiss as Hermia darted out the door. I grabbed the diaper bag and put the keys to my car in my mouth and ran out following my rambunctious daughter. She was already buckled into her seat in my mercedes and I handed her her brother to buckle him in. I got behind the wheel, slammed the door and buckled myself in. I turned on the David Bowie CD I had in the player, put my key in the ignition and pulled out of the driveway. I dropped Mia at school and started driving to the University. When I got there I put Ly in his stroller and ran into the liberal arts building. "Sorry I'm late." I said to my students as I walked into the room. " I have Ly today and... I'm sorry, I'm rambling, can someone tell me where we left off yesterday?" A girl in the front row who was wearing a very clingy sweater bearing the school's logo raised her hand. "We were on the discussion of the Anita Bryant crusades." "Ah thank you." I managed to get through the day with Ly crying only twice. After about five more classes I drove home and was greeted with the site of the chinese delivery man on the stoop. 'Thank G-d, Chinese food HURRAH!' I walked in the door to my house and sighed. I had a kick a ss life. read more...

Resolved Question: Repost: White Racial Joke 4: Taking Land?
.. your stall warning plays "Dixie." ... your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points. ... you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks. ... you've ever used moonshine as avgas. ... you have mud flaps on your wheel pants. ... you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight. ... your toothpick keeps poking your mike. ... you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut. ... just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!" ... you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side. ... you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer. ... you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock. ... you fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar. ... you wouldn't be caught dead flyin' a Grumman "Yankee." ... you refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy!" ... there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service. ... when you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One. ... you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper! ... you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft. ... you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase "That's a big 10-4!" ... you typically answer female controllers with titles like "sugar" or "little darlin'." ... she responds with the words "Honey" or "Big guy" then she may be a redneck. ... you have ever used a relief tube as a spitoon. ... you glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember your N-number. ... you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her doublewide. ... the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains "Case of Bud." ... your go/no-go checklist includes the words "Skoal" or "Redman." Additional Details 5 days ago Ya might be a Redneck if..... ...You think the nutcracker is somethin you did off the high dive. ...You wont stop at a rest area if you have a empty beer can in the car. ...You think Iraq is top-of-the-line Camaro. ...Your spring wardrabe mostly involves scissors. ...you know atleast 6 ways to bend a baseball cap. ...you own a lava lamp thats over 5 feet tall. ...there are more than 10 cats livin under your trailer. ...you've ever thrown up in a squad car. ...your frist bra was a Wonderbra. ...you've ever had to appear in court due to your dogs. ...You think Thunderbird is an acceptable wine choice with a bean burrito. ...your grandma enters wet t-shrit contests. ...your local grocery store also has a few pool tables. ...your septic tank is the subject of a petition. ...you have ever tried to use food stamps to mail a watermelon. ...you had to hitchhike on your honeymoon. ...your car and its motor are more than ten feet apart. 5 days ago ...your brother-in-law is also your uncle. ...you sent out birth announcements for your new puppies. ...you've changed a diaper on a Denny's table. ...you've ever named a child for a good dog. ...your T.V. is on 24-7. ...your last keg party included a couple of 911 calls. ...you have to mow around a refridgeator and a bed frame. ...you've ever taken a date flowers you stole from a cemetery. ...Everyone in the house learns somthing from the potty training videotape. ...Diners change tables when your family sits near them. ...your prom dress was knitted. ...you were born with a plastic spoon in your mouth. ...your bridal veil was made of window screen. ...you think people who have elictricty are uppity. ...your college graduation ceremony includes parallel parking an 18-wheeler. 5 days ago ...the Marlboro man is your idol. ...all your golf balls come in egg cartons Asian Jokes huh? hmmm. I'll get on that read more...

The new line of Kalencom diaper bags offers a wide range of styles and colors. The Kalencom Laminated Buckle Bag is both fun and stylish. With a variety of colors and patterns, the laminated fabric makes cleaning up a snap!

Kalencom Laminated Buckle Diaper Bag by Kalencom The laminated buckle diaper bag brings fun style to amazing function so you can get the most out of your diaper bag. Completely laminated on the outside for easy care, this diaper bag is a breeze to keep clean. A magnetic clip keeps the top flap closed and adjustable shoulder strap ensures a perfect fit for your height. Two outside pockets hold essentials like your cell phone, wallet, sunglasses, bottles and snacks for your baby. The roomy interior with pockets and matching insulated bottle bag is just the beginning! The coordinating zippered pouch and large fold out padded changing pad finish this laminated diaper bag to make it the total package.

The laminated kalencom buckle diaper bag brings fun style to amazing function so you can get the most out of your diaper bag. It's made of a cool, eco-friendly laminated fabric that wipes clean in a cinch, and it's equipped with a ton of extras, like a large changing pad (perfect for wiggly babies and toddlers), a removable insulated bottle bag, a key chain and a big zippered pouch.

The Kalencom buckle diaper bag does double duty as a diaper bag and an everyday tote for the new mom. There's also plenty of room for all of baby's necessities. Bag comes with two side pockets, matching changing pad, dirty diaper bag, and bottle warmer. The buckle bag is laminated with paisley prints on a lime green background; a magnetic clip keeps top flap closed. With adjustable straps to fit comfortably over the shoulders the new mom can travel easy with baby. Please purchase online http://www.katiewongnyc.com in NewYork city.